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I was pretty much a dying man whom was in
agony. I often wonder when is this stuff going to be ceased?
This was way too provocative as tons of my attempts and efforts
have been all wasted. I was torn and tormented! Roads seems to
be full of obstacles and I, was not be able to pass thru it by
myself. Ironically, all my attempts have spontaneously become
sabotages to my recovery road. This to me, was like a life
battle. I would never imagine that all my so called "attempts"... Christmas EveˇK This surely is one of my
favorite holiday. But to be honest, I donˇ¦t think I have ever
experienced any good Christmas Eve in my life. The best one
perhaps would be the year when I was with Janice Leung. This
would be my best best Christmas. God, I wonder when would be my
next best Christmas. Sometimes I think life seems to be too
luxury for me. I just couldnˇ¦t afford to have it. Maybe I was
born to...... I never expected this would happened again
and again. Over and over...... endlessly...... I felt so tired
about this shit.....God?! When is it going to be ended? Is that
all for the rest of my life? I cant live with it... I must
somehow find a way to go through it! I am sad... super depressed
and yet, no one I could possibly talk to. Sometimes I wonder why
there is no one who gives a damn about me? But deep down inside
I...... As yesterday I was going to a night market with Mela, since her friend was inviting her to go Beijing Club, so I also went there along with her. There was approximately 8 people all together including one of her friend, called Karen. Actually, I kinda noticed her when I first met her. I found her kinda attractive. But the problem was that Mela
was Ex, it was extremely difficult for me to make my first move.
Therefore, I didn't...... It has been nearly two weeks since I have left Shanghai. Still remember my last visit in Shanghai, that was the time I met Nicole and that was the time that I found my new lover. Anyways, finally managed to sort out my things and able to come down to Shanghai again. Although this time is also for business purpose but at the same time, I
can still see my new lover, Nicole. That was great, isn't it? I
was paid to go Shanghai It has been rough and tough for me lately... It is the most difficult day for me... I really didn't want to do that?! Six months again?! That is surely something that I didn't want to do?! Six months man? that is like across 2008?! that is way too much?! way too heavy?! I cant afford to do that?! But what the hell?! My dad has already done his best...but most likely I will have to spend another six months in Canada.
But I really...... Itz kinda weird of what I did yesterday. I
ended it up drinking with Mela...which I have never planned of
doing it initially. I went to a pub with Gravin and his friends.
Then Gravin asked me to see if anyone wanted to join. So I
looked up my phone book and all of sudden Mela appeared on my
phone list. So I called her and see if she wanted to join us.
Surprisingly she wanted to go so... I thought she would be
hating me or what......
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