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Finally, I have decided to resign today. I knew itz such a waste
especially for my career!! Thiz actually the first time I have gained
fully trust and support from a company! In addition, this also the
first time I can have my own little department!!! I still remember the
highest position I have ever made was An Assistant Business Development
Manager in Cheong Ming (A Publicly Listed Corporation in Hong Kong). I
held the second highest position in the department!!! But it was also
a waste!!! I was there for just 6 or 7 months...then I had an argument
with the boss...and thaz why I quitted a the end!! Anyways, two things
happened!! Firstly, I have lost my job due to my self resignation.
Secondly, I have spent quite some time with some strangers for a period
of time now! Itz indeed rough for me!!! Sometimes I wish I could
turn back time!!! But guess what....itz not gonna work!!! Sometimes
I wonder if god is making fun on me?! Why he keeps on giving me
chances but then took it away after just very short of time?! I
wonder??? May be it is even better that if he didn't give to me
initially!!! Taking it away after giving out for a very short duration
of time was indeed super pain in da Ass!!!! No Joke!!! Anyways,
thanks Mr. Lee and Steven's helps and believes!! They're the one who
have been fully trusted and supported me since the first day I joined HK
Dragon!!! Without them, I wouldn't be able to find my unique way of
sales or being a professional sales!!! They have been taught me very
much and I am sure Itz gonna benefit me no matter where I am going to
work in the near future!!! Anyways.... too sad, that I have to leave
just like that.... Couldn't even say a bye to anyone!!! But
anyways.........life goes on!!!
It has been a no. of years since I broke up with Becky... and even
though I am no longer feeling the pain and hurt... But surely, she will
always be the one that inside my heart deeply. Becky, you know what?!
You were once so important to me...and surely meant alot to me as
well. Without you, I didn't think I would manage to get my (Hons)
degree. Without you, I didn't think that I would be able to get mostly
A's in all of my subjects and... I didn't think I would understand what
is "true love" and "Real love"! To be honest, I have to confess that I
did lie to you once. But just once only...I Knew I shouldn't be doing
it... but just that it just happened. Ulia was once my gf. And while I
was with you, I also went out with her. I was so sorry about it. But
really Ulia and me...was kinda Romance and very hard to resist... Coz
when we firstly met each other, we just fell deeply in love. And
later, the most impossible thing happened!!! We found out that we are
actually born in the same day?! Exactly same year, same month, same
day?! Think of that?! What is the probability is like?! It surely
would be once in million times... I knew that I was so selfish... and
love is not about that?! Love should not rely on birthday or
whatsoever. But to be frank, both two of you did mean so much to me at
that time. Anyways, God is always fair! After being with you two for
like a month, some stupid 
Wow... Two weeks of happy times gone by too fast. Finally, me and Yung
Yung have to break up. Still remember the first time I saw Yung
Yung... That was indeed an electricity shock?! Her smile, her beautiful
eyes... wow.. Just couldn't resist.. She kinda looks like Cecelia Cheung
in a way. That was what her friends says and what I have believed too.
She treated me very well... and she was actually the first one who
wanted to buy me a car as a gift... but the condition is that I must
moved out and stayed with her... Well, that was kinda hard for me... Coz
I am living with my parents now... And it just wouldn't be easy to move
out since we haven't been together that long. Anyways, I have explained
to her... but she didn't seem to accept my explanation. Anyways, our
relationship was not healthy in a way. We didn't hang out that often. I
think we did only went out for a movie and dinner once. The rest of
the time that we spent together was in a hotel. Well, that was kinda sad...coz after we
have been together for like two weeks or three weeks time... She called
me and told me how she feel... She said that she felt like I was
treating her like Sex Machine?! Coz all we did was just sex... nothing
else...whenever we have spent time together... I felt so sad to hear
that... but I swear to god.. she would never be a sex machine to me..
coz I did love her... it just that the timing was not right?! She has to
work at nite... and whenever she finished work...then I was basically
tired...so of course, we would go to a hotel to take some rests. And
every time she saw me, she would start to kiss me...and come on?! I am a
guy?! of course, I wouldn't be able to stand it at times... and thatz why
we always ended up having sex. And when we got up, that was pretty
much at nite... and she got to go work..and I have to go back home or
sometimes I have to go to work.. so pretty much we wouldn't have much
time to do some other things else. It was really hurt when I have heard
this... But I guess the only choice that we have left was staying
together. But the problem is that I wouldn't be able to stay with you
at this moment... so we have no choice but to break up... that was
sad... but oh well, what da hell?! Life goes on?!
oh..God.. really didn't know what and how to start it... I guess I should start
from the 1st day I met her... That day... I went to Cyber with ah B and Jack
since Jack's friends have reserved a room in Cyber. After we have arrived, we
saw two so called movie stars... I didn't think it is a good idea to mention
their names... since they are HK stars.. Anyways, we didn't have much of fun
initially... Well, I guess I didn't... But both ah Jack and ah B did... Of
course, they were hugging and kissing with their girl all the time... So I was kinda alone... Ah B kept forcing me to "Cut some girls" in da dancing floor...
But since I haven't been disco-ing or pubbing for so long... Of course, I was
kinda shy... haha?! Unbelievable... But thatz true though?! Anyways, at around
2 to 3am, ah Shan came... She was drinking beer and playing those games with
some other people in the room. She saw me and ah B walked inside the room...so
she asked us to join... I didn't wanna join initially coz I hate beer... So I
didn't join... But ah B joined ..and started to play games with her... and He
started to get so close to her... After a shortwhile, ah B suggested me to go
dance with her and some other people.. So we went to the stage again...and
started to dancing... Ah B...haha... that ham sop fellow started to seduce ah
Shan...he tried to hug and touch her... but unfortunately, ah Shan rejected his
action. Action Denied?! Well, that was for sure... coz ah B was hugging and
kissing another girl all day lone ....and unfortunately ah Shan has seen the
whole thing... So sorry, ah B would have no choice of getting her... Then may be
ah Shan was scared by ah B's action... so she started to stand beside me and
started to dance with me... I didn't wanna be with her initially...coz I felt
bad...since itz like taking someone's girl away... But my brother B, I knew him
very well... So he kept asking me to go for her....coz he said no point to waste
ma?! haha...that fellow is extremely funny?! Anyways, so I listened to him...
and started to flirt with ah Shan... and fortunately, she seems kinda accept
it... and we then started to stick with each other until 6am... then she said
she wanna go back home...then I asked if she wanted me to send her home..
Surprisingly, she said "Sure".. so I sent her home by taking a taxi.. And guess
the next minute...I was at her house... and thank god?! she was living by
herself... She went to take a shower...and dressed with a very sexy see through
underwear... Well, that was too hot...way too hot.. and may be her dress was too
low cut... so her nipple was always exposed... sorry to say that... but that
was truth... Anyways, we slept together in her bed... I knew normally what a guy
would do for sure... they would indeed quickly took off their shirt and started
to have sex?! But sorry, that was never my style?! I didn't like One Night
Stand?! In fact, I would never try!!! Coz I found it so stupid... Anyways, swear
to god, we didn't do anything... All I ever did, was just hugging her and
sleeping together until the next day... We got up at nite... then the next
minute, I left her house... Then the second day, I went down to her house again
after work.. We went to the supermarket nearby her house and got us some food.
Coz she said she wanna cook for me. Well, she did.. and the food was
excellent?! Such a good cook?! After dinner, I went to take a shower at her
house... and then she went to take a shower afterwards... then we watched a bit
of TV... and started to sleep together... Well, to be frank... I have to admit
that we did have sex that day... Even though it was a very short time since we
just knew each other for like 2 days.. but at least that was not one night
stand?! right?! Well...after that, she asked me one question... that was kinda
scary for me?! She asked me to move in to live with her?! That really scared
me away... It was not that I didn't like her... It just that moving in would be
too fast... I didn't think I have prepared to live with her yet... since we just
get started. Anyways, she seems to be demanding too much or may be too
"Sticky". She kept calling me throughout the day... and you know what?! I have
to work, right? So I started to feel a bit of annoying.. Anyways, she asked me
to go to her house again... and I said...okay... So she waited nearby my
workplace...and that moment onwards...I felt that was it... "No more" I knew
that I should be happy...coz it wasn't easy to have someone who willing to wait
for you after work... and willing to cook for you after work... But I didn't know
why I felt so annoying. May be that was because I didn't love her that much...
So I thought about it...and finally I realized that she was not my cup of tea...
coz when Barbie was waiting for me before, I have never feeling annoying.. but
at least I would love to see her as soon as possible. So I knew that it
wouldn't work out for me and her... And what I did the next few days...I
didn't
talk to her....I always told her that I was busy at work... and all of sudden I
disappeared. I thought she would understand initially.. but sorry may be she
didn't aware of it... so she still kept calling ... until the very last time, she
msg. me and asked me what is going on?! Then I replied with one single word,
that is "Sorry!". I knew that is kinda mean...but I guess that would be the
best way... if I dragged our relationship longer, the more pain it will become
for both of us... I didn't know if I was doing the right thing... but Really
Sorry about it Shan?! You are such a wonderful girl and I am surely you would
find someone that you love?!
I have been very busy due to tremendous of work and so on. Sorry for
being so lazy and haven't been able to write down anything for my
journal. Anyways, things are getting worse and worse whilst I have
been relapsed lately and just couldn't find the solution to my problem.
Anyways, I think I will do my very best to look for a solution. I just
don't wanna be back to da old ways.... Why everything has to go downhill
again and again? why I have to fuck it all up over and over. When will I
start to grow up?? god please help me!!
Wow.. time just flies by...... itz the end of May. Well, This month
has been very interesting.. coz I finally recovered from my accident
before. And moreover, I m currently working. Never really believe
that I m actually workin' in a local company that only deals with local
customers. Unbelievable!!! But anyways, hope things will turn out
okay!!! And for Janice, I felt very sorry for your grandma... So sad
to hear that your grandma has passed away. It must be painful for you.
But just try not to be too sad. Coz she will be going to heaven and
living there with a happy life!! God will always bless her and you as
well!! I don't know... Sometimes I felt life is too short and weak!!!
And sometimes I tend to lose interest of living!!! But may be thatz
life... Perhaps I will find the meaning of life one day!!! And to Ting
Ting and Clare, Miss you two so much!!! Wish I can join you all for
working!! Coz you two are always my best best best buddies no matter
what!!! Wish can see you two as soon as possible!!! Take good care you
two and may god bless you two too!!!
Well, finally had a good sleep!! Itz been such a long time since
I could be able to sleep again. Anyways, called Esteelyn at nite. And she is kinda cute... She asked me if I have "Kau Lui" or not?! Of Course I didn't... Coz I
didn't even know how?! Right? haha...
Anyways, that is so sweet of her. It is always good to know that
there is still someone who loves you or willing to wait for you.
But to be frank, I wasn't planning to have a gf. for the meanwhile. It
is not like I don't want one but just don't feeling to have one for this
time being. Anyways... May be later... May be I just felt kinda sick and tired recently and therefore I
don't think I would like to have one... Coz my life is such a messy... still messy... Anyways, nothing much
has done for the whole "die"... just went out for dinner with my parents and my uncles and aunties... well, still not feeling that good yet... hopefully it will get better pretty soon!
And hopefully, one day Esteelyn can become my one... But that is kinda
hard coz distance. God, I hate it so much! How come I have
never found any ones in HK? Why always outside HK? Is that means I
have to leave HK for good? Anyhow, thanks so much Esteelyn.
You really did make me feel warm and great. Hope you have a good
day!
Wow... Having a rough night yesterday. Still not being able to sleep yesterday.. but somehow...after rolling around and around... then finally
I managed to go to bed at one until 9am this morning... surely a blessing from god... haha... oh yeah, talking with Kenny yesterday. He is such a good buddy to me. Always there whenever
I need him. Cool dude!! Love you My man. Anyways, tomorrow will be Mr. B's birthday. Hope he is having a good awesome birthday. Itz really bad that I can go celebrate with him... Whilst We used to go out together and have fun together. We kinda have our synergy effect in terms of...... better not to talk about it in here. But anyhow, he is always a good clubing disco-ing partner. We had tremendous fun few years back.... Especially the Beach Rave Party held in Sek O. Super
unforgettable. Still remember I just broke up with Sandy that day. But luckily not feeling sad, coz that party was awesome!! kick all my sadness...haha. Anyways, Happy Birthday B!!!
Itz been a long day today. Feeling kinda tired and sick.
Couldn't be able to sleep. Didn't really know why ..I just couldn't be able to take my mind off. I just keep thinking and dreaming bout something. Sometimes thinking of some kind of non-sense. Which is kinda weird. Well, I guess I m just having too much of "Internal Fire" according to
Chinese doctors. Well, Who cares!! Life goes on!! Have been busy with my web lately and finally itz done. It just that I need three more blogz to finish up the whole thing. haha. Anyways, chat with Bella today and found out that she is okay now at least. Coz
haven't heard from her for quite sometime and turned out that she is fine... A blessing from god!!! Anyways, I guess I should go to sleep earlier today coz my life have been turning up side down lately. Which I
don't think that is good!!!
Oh man... got up in the afternoon again!!! slept in da morning yesterday... oh man... feeling kinda lazy..and sick too. But oh well!! managed to finish 2 webpages of my web. hopefully
I can be finished very soon. haha... cant wait to see when itz all completed...haha.. oh yeah... been watching the old MTV "where z da love" by Black eyes peas. One question really has popped up my mind was that "where is the love" really???? Sometimes I wonder where z everybody'z love? everybody really just care about theirselves, their money their own stuff!!! Hate that!!! why cant some of them care about stranger or people whoze in need indeed!!! anyhow..... thatz what lifez about I guess!!!
Well...have become a super lazy bum lately. Supposed to finish up my journal yesterday but then turned out...dadada... "Doin' it today" Thatz because of the new website that I m workin' on lately. Anyways, chating with BELLA for awhile and found out that she'z sick and was lying in da hospital.. Poor BELLA. Let me pray for you!! and kiss away your pain perhaps?! If thatz possible. haha..
Bella is just so sweet, although she is sick like a pussy cat, but she
still kept her promise of chating with me. Mucks, you deserved it. Well.. nothin' really much lately.. except being a lazy bum... playing internet and working on my web for the whole f-king nite.. then sleeps early in the morning.. this kind of life seems to be abit..CRAZY and Up side down..haha.. should change it.. I guess. Oh yeah.. managed to steal some cool Music MTVz, picz, gif and iconz yesterday.. Feeling kinda cool...thanks god... well, really
didn't know how long is it gonna take to finish my web.. coz that was indeed exhausting... hate typing html codes.. and javascripts and all... very tired... Anyways, thatz pretty much about it.
Itz been a long "die" today.... Really tired... Extremely tired!!! Coz I have to got up very earlier in da morning since promise my dad of going for "Yum Cha" with him.. Well, it wazn't that bad if I did go to bed early yesterday. But then I
didn't!!! I went to bed at around 8am this morning...then got up at 9am.. wow... that really killz me!!! Anyhow... at least I got to go "yum cha" finally!!!!
haven't been to any restaurant for so f-king long... the food there were quite delicious!!! Anyways... after that, went down to T.S.T. for shopping!! I was super tired but no choice...coz have to accompany my dad!!! We went down to harbour Centre and all.... My dad said he wanna get me and my brother both a "wall hanging" LCD TV, a new DVD player and a notebook.... But the condition is that we both MUST quit Smoking...haha... kinda hard ...but will indeed give it a try!!! my brother is such a superman!! coz he really quit smoking for like 3 days now!!! not even a
bluff!!!! unbelievable!!! Anyways, didn't get much things today except a white belt for myself. I really like that belt coz
I found white belt looks good with a jeans!! isn't it??? at least I like it....haha.. after that tough shopping trip, we then went to restaurant for dinner. Itz a treat from my uncle. Coz my dad lost quite a lot of money to my uncle for the majong game yesterday!!! So poor and pity!!! Well, the food there again was supera!!! l
didn't really eat that much for so long now... But today...just eat and eat!!! Coz my parents have been forcing me to eat lately. They said I ate too much now!!! Coz I used to eat alot!!! super much!!! but nowadays... no appetite!!! coz...too much things to worry about!! poor me!!! WELL.... kinda thinking of Janice abit today. Wonder if she is okay or not!! It was not easy for me to break up with Janice
initially... coz we have been together for more than a year. My friend James, ah B and Kenny, even my parents think that she was pretty and high class... It surely not easy to have such a good gf. I really did regret alot... I
shouldn't propose breaking up with you despite of the fact that our love has been fading... Sometimes I wish I could turn back time... but I guess it would never work?! Poor.. itz too bad that you were in UK all da time while we re together...Sometimes I wonder why we would broke up??! If not, how nice!! Since she is staying so close to me!!! Anyways, may be I should get her back?? Just listen to MAy May!!! hahaha.... But would May May able to help me get her back?! Even though they are good friends but still I
didn't think so... haha.. I should stop thinking stupid things.. May be that is because being Single for too long?! Anyways,itz been a long day for me. I better go sleep earlier since I just have 1hr sleep yesterday!!!
Well...Just Realized when I m writing this journal.. Today itz April Fool...haha.. Used to be fooled by so many people while
I was in primary school or so.. but then nowadays... nobody really give a shit about it.. Anyways...
Have been a normal day again today. Yesterday have a good chat with Dahlia.. Shez still the old dahlia I used to know. Still special..cute and sweet!! We have talked about of things... She said that I have no "heart" coz I
didn't "chase" her... Well... itz really hard for me to chase someone..coz
I didn't know how ma?! She said that she don't believe it... She said she used to think that I am really really good... Well, frankly, either do I?? Anyways, we have already fixed a "Date" and will lookin' forward to it. coz I have always have fun whenever I am with her. Coz she is just so low B like me?! Anyways, managed to find a very interesting website whereby it allows you make your own photo slide... very interesting: http://www13.rockyou.com/ Please give it a try whenever you are free.. ITz indeed worth to give it a try... Anyhow...having dinner with my mum and brother..
Didn't really have appetite to eat for sometime.. but at least I felt hungry today.. Oh well...things will just get better eventually. Okie... Oh yeah... I have just installed the new msn messager 7.5 .. seems kinda fun coz we got to record our own voice and send it to people. How nice!!! Well, other than that...nothing really special... Hopefully tomorrow will be another good day!!! :)
Itz been a okie kinda day. Still feeling abit sick but hey, things are going to get better eventually. Coz life should be full of miracles, surprises and fun...
Isn't it? Anyways, so glad to receive emails from old friends: Billy Boy, Franky Chai, Ting Ting ZoO "E" Lu, ClARE "EGG", Becky "the beauty"... All these people are just superb.. we have been living closely together during my uni. life. Well, sometimes I was thinking if I can just go back to my university life...so nice..so happy and so coolioo! Anyways, now that everybody is working....kinda boring and sad... If we could stay together...now nice!!!! Itz too bad that we are all in different parts of the world now!!! SHIT!!! Sometimes I really hate myself being BORN in HOng KONG!!! COz all my best friends
weren't here!! Coz they are not Hongies!!! HoW Sad!!! Well... thanks to all your emails coz they are super sweet!!! I really miss you all!! For you Ting Ting, I m so sorry that I
didn't manage to get to see you when you came down to Hong Kong earlier!! Coz I was in da hospital after I got hit by a taxi!!! So sad!! Anyways, I will indeed make my effort to come down to China and visit you!!! Since I have a no. of good friends over there...so I guess a gathering would be super nice!! oh well.. time to stop right here!! LOVE you all..by da way, been listening to DJ Paul Van dyk's
For An Angel for the whole day!
It is really cool that...Esteelyn said that she will be girl friend... haha.. it is going to be fun,
isn't it? having a model gf. from overseas? But to be honest, what is the use of having such a gf.? I doubt it... but at least someone is going to listen to your problems when you needs to talk.. and someone is going to be there to share your ups and downs especially when you are single... hehe... Yeap.. She did send me tons of pictures of her... and she even call me on the phone... and she said that she will wait for me at her place. And she will behave good and wont be with anyone until I come. But to be frank, I will just take it as a joke.. coz that is so
unrealistic?! Right?! Anyways, I think I kinda getting used to be single now. Since breaking up with Barbie for quite sometime already. It is kinda funny how we
separate coz none of us have ever said "breaking-up" this word. But still ended up ... well. it was indeed my fault even though my friends and parents thought that it
wasn't mine but was she instead. Anyways, let gone be by gone.. well.....that is pretty much
I have to say for today...coz I m chatting with Barbie right now. Barbie
Baby, it is so damn sad......between you and me...... our story......
I am having an happy day so far... so happy talking with my little Barbie today... Really miss her... always dreaming about her and always wanted to be with her again.. But like I said few days back, god'z
not fair!!! I just couldn't be with her right now.... I m hoping that my
thing will be over, so that I can be with her again... Anyways,
receiving a email from Billy boy... so happy. He said he is coming down
to HK next year ... wow.. cant wait till that happen... We used to think that he is gay.... coz he always like to ditch a girl after the girl started to like him... thus, he always hangs around with a gay guy... Anyhow I know he is not.... coz we used to go "girly fishing" when I was in MY. hehe... still remember the days that we were together,..... super happy...
sleeping in the day time... got up in de afternoon...then go for a little snooker...then go for dinner...then next station is Disco... wow,... all
these time was cool and amazing... wish I can still living in thiz kind of life... but of course, nowadays
are totally different... the last time I went disco was like a year ago... haha... anyways.... back to my little Barbie.... To be honest, I still miss and love you... but I
don't know what is gonna happen... hopefully I can be with you soon... but who knows... I might be ending up with someone else...right? Left? Front? Back?
never mind...time to stop in here... By the way, just wanna say thank you to DJ Paul Van Dyk!!
Your song is super awesome... and it always keeps me living... Thanks... oh well... Adioz...peace...cheerZ... SARS?!
Hope to see Billy Hilly Boy as soon as possible and I am gonna bring him
to Lang Kwai Fong for clubing for sure. Let me check out our HK style.
Hehe.
I have been listening to music all day long.
haven't been going to any disco or pub for so f-king long, felt like to go and dance like crazy... godzfair style super wild sonic ravey moves.... anyhow... still thinking of her...but somehow
I wanna let her go! don't know. kinda confuse. one hand wanna be with her... one hand
don't wanna with her.... its damn super confuse... contradiction! confusion! that is where
I m at today... anyhow, finally finished reading my emails... 200+ messages not including hi5 and friendster accounts... that was because I
haven't been checking my emails for quite sometime now... anyways,
feeling tired... stop right here...
People often ask??? is there any gOd in thiz shitty world? and if so, is god fair? I doubt it... anyways, Thy myself have been going through a rough time lately... thiz has to flashback to last year mother's day... still remember that day I went down to disco with my friend... and that is the first time I met her... she has an outstanding super
gorgeous outlook...super attractive to me anyways... I still remember the first time I saw her. I was pretty much shocked...electrical shocked... she was surrounded by all the horny and stupid idiots while she was dancing on the floor... I was dancing in front of her... as I remember... then all of sudden...I heard some
gags and laughs from her and her friends... and as I turned around... that was the first time we looked at each other... I still remember her big and beautiful eyes... anyways... I was happy but sad.. coz I finally found my dream girl after all these while... but how the hell am
I suppose to get to know her?? anyhow...cant remember how that happened but she gave me her phone no. Anyways, we went out for movie the very next day... and that was the day we started to be together... It was super amazing to have this girl... she meant alot to me...
I treasured her very much and we get along very well....but happy times flies by very fast... something have happened... and this incident really hit me...and becoz of that,
I have no choice but have to let her go. it was really sad... even today she told me that she is still waiting for me...and
I still love her very much... but I just cant be with her for now and even laterz...so many reasons.